not you fat jesus

jesuschristvevo:

i dont date in high school because no one is rich yet so whats the point

fasterfood:

half of me wants to be a really physically active person but the other half of me is like “nah son” and how can I argue with that

illea:

i called my grandpa to wish him a happy 69th birthday and he said, “I skipped straight to 70. I don’t do 69 anymore, I’m too old to bend that way” and started laughing hysterically

grandpa

heartbreakur:

when i look in the mirror:

when i try to take a picture:

reginasmom:

those kids who still think liking old music makes them special 

meladoodle:

bologna is a fucked up word

houch:

If Mr Brightside ever starts playing, and you don’t stop everything you’re doing and sing at the top of your lungs, you aren’t living life properly.

clearbay:

I LOVE ORDERING THINGS FROM ONLINE ITS LIKE SOMEONE SENT YOU A PRESENT BUT YOU SENT YOURSELF THAT PRESENT 

｡･ﾟ･ﾟʕﾟ>ᴥ<ʔ･ﾟ･｡

8ump:

8ump:

i’m going into the xD tag wish me luck

seaweedick:

walk up in da club like “mom said u have to come home”

amporasses:

oh my god hes called stitch because hes what pulls their family together

katkinkat:

i wish i could say “?????????” in real life it would be very useful

homleschapel:

summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell

fffcuk:

why are girls like “oh it’s december i need a boyfriend to keep me warm” no you can buy a coat like the rest of the single people

quintobabe:

No Nicki Minaj, starships were meant to boldly go where no man has gone before

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

meladoodle:

the quadratic formula

*war flashbacks*